The perfect WWE Superstar for every NFC team

Washington Commanders | Ted Dibiase

In 1989, Dibiase’s “Million Dollar Man” character bought his way into the Royal Rumble using the catch phrase, “Everybody’s got a price.” For new owner Joshua Harris, the price for the Commanders was $6.05B.

Arizona Cardinals | Dominic Mysterio 

Mysterio is so unpopular that WWE Fans gleefully shout over him whenever he tries to speak. After receiving a league-low D+ grade on the most recent NFLPA Player Team Report Card, Cardinals owner Michael Bidwill won’t win any popularity contests, either.

Los Angeles Rams | The Miz 

A self-proclaimed A-lister, Mike “The Miz” Mizanin has a slew of reality shows and direct-to-DVD movies to his credit. He also shares a haircut with Rams head coach Sean McVay.

New York Giants | Donald Trump 

Politics aside, the native New Yorker is actually in the WWE Hall Fame. Look it up.

Atlanta Falcons | Bill Goldberg 

Goldberg was drafted by the Rams in 1990 and spent two years with the team as a defensive tackle. He also spent time with the Falcons and Panthers but is best known as a two-time World Heavyweight champion between WCW and WWE.

New Orleans Saints |Damian Priest 

As the leader of “Judgement Day,” Priest is no deity but the closest thing to sainthood in professional wrestling.

Minnesota Vikings | Brock Lesnar 

After years of success as an Olympic wrestler, a UFC fighter and WWE Superstar, “The Beast Incarnate” auditioned for the Minnesota Vikings in 2004 despite not playing football since high school. He appeared in several preseason games before being released at the end of training camp.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers | Hulk Hogan 

The two-time, WWE Hall of Fame inductee has called Tampa Bay home since he was just a little Hulkamaniac. His family moved from Augusta, Georgia, in 1954. 

Detroit Lions | Nikkita Lyons 

Lyons currently performs for the NXT brand of WWE. Before that she was known as “Faith the Lioness” for three years with Women of Wrestling (WOW).

San Francisco 49ers | George Kittle 

Not only did the 49ers tight end clothesline the Miz at WrestleMania 39, he recently debuted a new clothing line with artwork inspired by his collection of luchador masks.

Dallas Cowboys | Cody Rhodes 

With a mere $6.2M in cap space and no top-tier free agents on the horizon, “America’s Team” is living the “American Nightmare."

Seattle Seahawks | Road Warrior Hawk 

Michael James Hegstrand was one half of the tag team known as the “Road Warriors” along with “Road Warrior Animal.” They won two tag team championships in the WWF with both being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2011.

Carolina Panthers | Old Ric Flair

The longtime Carolina resident named his equally famous daughter Charlotte but received death threats for giving a playoff pep talk to the 49ers in 2014. He’s since pledged allegiance to the Atlanta Falcons

Green Bay Packers | Lex Luger 

Prior to his years with WCW and  WWF, Luger spent the entire 1982 season on injured reserve with the Green Bay Packers. He even wore Ray Nitschke’s No. 66 before it was retired. 

Philadelphia Eagles | Rowdy Roddy Piper 

The greatest heel in wrestling history, Piper was the man you loved to hate, a loudmouth provocateur. Enjoy Wrestlemania, Philly.